January 21, 2015

My balls

For years Leo has annotated our Apples to Apples cards. Instead of beachballs the smudged marker now reads "MYballs" He uses it like a punchline the way my preadolescent self tagged "in bed" to the end of each fortune cookie slip. It never fails to amuse him, and generally the rest of us as well. "Oh dear" exclaims his older brother and Leo looks at him through slitted eyes. Too soft, he seems to say. "My balls" he corrects and they run off together, small problem averted for the time being. I Read more [...]
January 20, 2015

If you could just be sad somewhere else

The cat sits in her chicken pose, dreadlocks growing from her jutted out shoulder. Even her good eye is goopy. I cant see her tail stump but I know it, like her deafness, is there. She is not an attractive specimen. Oliver walks slowly from room to room mewling about an assignment he doesn't want to complete. He usually just puts his head down and gets his work done but for some reason the fictional chef and his good smelling tomato sauce is not inspiring an essay. Steve is traveling again Read more [...]
September 28, 2014

Its sort of funny

Ah- choo. Crap. AHHHH-CHOOOO. Well now I've done it. Steve looks at me with sympathy from the bedroom door. He is dressed and ready to ride his new bike to food shopping. Oliver flat out laughs. "Its sort of funny how you smile and frown at the same time." I'm sitting on the bed with my laptop trying to spur some sort of post, and now I am going to have to get up and change my clothes, and change the sheets. Since the new kitten with her less than perfect litter box skills and Read more [...]
September 24, 2014

Online literacy and anal rape.

Once you clear the nightmare scenarios of kidnapping and fatal illness, walking into the room to your seven year old's screams to find him frozen in front of a video of anal rape is pretty much the last thing a parent wants. It happened to us almost a year ago, and it still comes up at the dinner table and bed time occasionally. He refers to it as "that thing I saw" and we all know what he means. I would describe it here, except I don't want to relive it myself. The details were beyond anything Read more [...]
September 24, 2014

What love does.

Crows feet, acne, double chins, chin hair, limp hair, shortness, short of breath, bad breath, bad mood. None. Of. That. Means. Anything. When I am with you in this exact moment.

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September 23, 2014

We are we?

Yesterday I watched Leo lie in the dentist chair receiving his first filling. After a fair amount of thought we agreed to the nitrous oxide. He lay outstretched, nose covered by a grape flavored mask, mouth stretched by dental tools, eyes wrapped in sunglasses to shield him from the bright light. I found myself looking away from his face, at his still tanned legs. Looking at scrapes, and pen marks that told the story of his last few months. He is a newly eight year old. He is my son. He is not a Read more [...]
August 12, 2014

Giving In

Ok I give. I have been reading the local and international stories with sadness over recent suicides. I haven't been writing or talking much about it. Then I read this on a friends facebook wall: Robin Williams was a great man. His death was disturbing. As We all grew up adoring his movies. The one thing he is not is a role model. A self inflicted death is selfish and cowardly. R I P mrs. Doubt fire To which I quickly responded: I think everyone can agree Read more [...]
July 5, 2014

Dependence Day

One of the things about a beach house is how much you see each other, and how much you see of each other. It is all family here, now that my mother and Robert have exchanged rings, but I didn't quite expect to see so much of his feet. When I spy them in his sandals I tell myself to look away. Everyone has a right to wear sandals. But there they are totally bare on my coffee table, now sort of his coffee table and I think back an hour or so when I bent over that same spot eating my breakfast. Read more [...]
June 19, 2014

Mrs Pepper

Yesterday passed in a blur. Truck and trailer, boxes and paper, sheets and towels. Things seemed to come in pairs which made a certain kind of sense of the disorder. I woke this morning at five to finish my reading assignment for tonight's book group. My connection to the group is back east and I will meet the members alone tonight. As Steve and I furiously unpacked garment boxes to clear a path to the toilet I actually thought about what outfit I might wear. Perhaps denver is changing me already...or Read more [...]
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